working on a new routine

After having such a relaxing month of December, I figure now is a great time to work on adding a bit of routine back into our day.  2011 came and went without much of any routine.  I guess that's what happens when a new pregnancy and baby join the family.  While I really have no desire to live my life according to a strict schedule (that's one of the benefits of homeschooling, no?), we all thrive on the rhythms of a routine.  And I have to remind myself of that; a routine merely means knowing what comes next.  It's not rigid.  It's not demanding.  Rigid and demanding just don't work in this house that consists of mostly-single parenting and tiny people.

I think for the sake of stick-to-it-ivensess I will first think about WHY a better routine would benefit our family.

• I think that bad behaviors and attitudes will improve with a routine.  Knowing what comes next will (hopefully) decrease complaints and arguments, which is my #1 issue with the tiny people right now.
• Em needs to be included in the mix more.  He hasn't really been added to the morning chore routine, and he is fully capable of understanding that we do certain things every single morning, like get dressed after breakfast and brush our teeth.  Sometimes this doesn't happen until afternoon with him.
• JC is on no routine whatsoever.  This has actually worked great for us, but I would like to purpose to spend time just focusing on her.  Because she is such an easy baby, and the older kids are so demanding of my time and energy, I feel like I don't hold/love/snuggle her as much as I want to. 
• A routine will help me feel less frazzled.
• A better chore routine will have the kids helping me more, so we have more time to enjoy each other, and they will also learn important character lessons.
• Having a regular routine in place will help ease the transitions when Husband is home.  If we know what comes next it will be easier for him to jump in the mix and not feel like he's outside looking in.

Next, I'll focus on what has and hasn't worked, so I'm not reinventing the wheel.

Chores

What has worked:  Having a list of chores that need to be done for the day, and letting the kids take turns choosing which ones they'd like to do.  (These are on top of their regular daily morning chores.)  They have some say in what they do, and don't usually have to do the same chore over and over unless they like to do it.

What hasn't worked:  Chore Paks.  Although we do still call our morning chores Chore Paks. (get dressed, make your bed, brush your teeth, and then two tidy-up type chores each)  I bought the Managers of Your Chores Book, and I like the idea of it.  The problem is, being here alone with the kids and having a baby and the preschooler in the mix, I'm not always able to consistently check the Chore Paks, which is the key to success.  I also found myself feeling like a drill sergeant.  I would prefer to have a more cooperative feel when it comes to chores.  We are all working together for the same goal here.  And while there are times when I have to wear my bossy pants, I'd like us to live here together as a team.

Daily Rhythyms

What has worked:  The kids know that we eat breakfast, then we do our morning Chore Paks.   We used to have a quiet time EVERY SINGLE DAY after lunch.  Em used to nap during this time and the big kids would rest/read/play quietly. For a while they listened to an audio book, though IW was not a big fan of this.  Meal times have always been pretty routine, and evenings have always had a pretty good flow to them.  Reading with the kids, both individually and as a group, before bed has always been a winner.  I especially like individually, though it takes up A LOT more time.

What hasn't worked:  Well, this is a broad area.  Pretty much anything I haven't been consistent on.  Having a new baby in the house has had a lot to do with that, so I'm trying to cut myself some slack.
I do think that TV has made it's way more and more into our evenings as the kids have gotten older.  Unfortunately, this has changed how we handle evenings with our littlest guys, which I don't really like.  Something to address there.
The kids going and staying downstairs by themselves.  Too much time without an adult around leads to bad choices and bickering and arguing.

Academic Rhythyms

What has worked:  Taking a relaxed approach.  Letting them learn without the label "school" on it (especially IW).  Lots of hands on, and lots of learning through our travels.  Learning through read alouds.  Learning through educational shows and games.  Answering their questions when I can, and helping them find the answers when I can't. 

What hasn't worked:  Being especially "schooly".  If IW feels like I'm forcing him to do something, he resists it the whole time.  If he feels like we're learning something together, it suddenly becomes fun.  I think it's a pressure to perform thing.  I think I contribute to this as well.  If I feel like I have to teach them something, there is a certain pressure (on me to do it right, on them to learn it), but if we're discovering things together, the pressure is off.
Trying to be too rigid.  This just sets us all up for failure, and for being miserable.  This is a home, not a school (meaning the institution).  This is my life, not my job.   Theirs too. 

I think I'll chew on this for a few days, and then hopefully have a new set of routine goals to work off of.